July 27 Update and 13 months!

Another month down!!! Typically her turning another month older is really sad to me, but today I am trying to remember that another month just means that we are getting closer to going to get her!!!! I keep hoping that we will get to go in Nov. or something (I guess that time seems practical to me)but I know that it will be in 2011. Gosh, that seems like a long way off!
Happy 13 month baby girl! I can't wait to spend all the small milestones together!

So, now for the update. Hmm....apparently I just have my hopes set too high. I know they have lots of babies, but when I actually get to use one of my "requests" for an update I expect it to be a bit more than a few check marks off a list. Anywho, it looks like she is doing well, and that is what matters! She has gained 2 pounds and grown 2 inches since May. That puts our little one at 17 pounds and 28 inches. She is tiny. I love it!!!

Registering

We are done!!! Last night and tonight we went to Babies R Us and Target to get registered for Miss Olivia. John took the 'gun' and decided that he would be in charge of that. I went two aisles over and hear "beep, beep, beep," I didn't know what he was adding, but found several things on the registry when we got home and I looked them up. While I left a couple of the things, I did delete some of them! :) We had fun, but it made me want her here even more! Is that possible??? Our registry is a bit different from the 'normal' baby registry, so take that as your pre-warning prior to looking at it. Since we unfortunately don't get to have the saucer, high-chair, swing, bouncer, etc...we registered for things she WILL need such as developmental toys. She is going to need a lot of those! If it is out there and we thought we needed it we zapped it!!!
We did put several different kinds of bottles (the fact that she will be on a bottle at 1 1/2 is a whole other subject for me, but it is what she knows) on the registry since we don't know which one she will take to. So, no, it wasn't us being indecisive, it was us wanting to find what she is most familiar with. I know things like bottles, paci's, and sippies are going to be trial and error for us, so I gave us an affordable array of choices. :)
We registered for things such as v-tech and leap frog toys to work on her english and developmental things. We figure since we will be home the first few weeks we need to have lots to do as we all get acquainted with each other. Hopefully we will be able to play in between the grieving. Poor thing!!!
So, that is it for tonight! Go check out the registries! Babies R Us and Target.

New Pics "the professional ones"

** Before you read: Thank you for your continued prayers and support. The days are very up and down. The wait is hard.****


So, we got a call last week to be on the look out for new pictures. We were initially told that we would receive professional pictures of Olivia at her one year birth day. So, naturally I think she will be dressed in her Hanbok or something we have sent. Wrongo!!! She has on sweet pink pj's with socks on. Mind you, it is as hot and humid there right now as it is here in TN. Poor thing looks layered and dressed for winter. Another concern was that she has a bruise over her left eye.
Well, my disappointment led me to email our international social worker. I know that they take 5 seconds to take those pictures, but for a parent who is on the opposite side of the world, a picture is ALL I have right now. It would be nice to see her smiling or some emotion on her face. They put her full Korean name on the bottom of the pictures (printed on them) and her last name is WRONG! Seriously! I know that this is completely nit-picky, but come on!!!! I sent an adorable smocked bishop dress that I thought she would have on if she didn't have the hanbok on, but nope....pj's.




Oh, by the way....I am whining and complaining tonight! If you are an AP and you have waited this long, you too can whine somedays, right?!





So, my email was completely polite, I was just asking questions. I didn't get any form of update. I got 4 pictures that all look very similar, and I think that is all I will receive until we get her in Feb.



I think I am particularly whiny because the reality has set in that we don't get to travel anytime soon. I say this now because all of the American paperwork is done, and at this point (if there wasn't a quota) we would be travelling within the month! February seems further and further away!




Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for the pictures, I just wish they had been better and there was some form of an update. I DO realize that there are a lot of other families in this long wait boat and they too have days of frustration.

Well, I guess I have said enough if I don't want you all to quit reading my blog. Keep in mind that this is my journal (essentially) so I am going to be honest with how I feel. This is for me and Olivia, but it is also for those that have shared this journey with us, and I am extremely grateful for you! Some days are much harder than others, and I had built the pictures up in my head and got disappointed. I had even had a dream about them!!!

The thing I said I WOULD NEVER have....

is one of these.



However, I will plead my case. Apparently, this is the common way that Olivia is use to being carried. So, in attempt to make her as happy and comfortable as possible with her new foreign situation, I got her one. So, when you see an almost 2 year old on my back, DON'T LAUGH! These carriers are actually made in Korea and are suppose to be the ones that they use. They are designed so that her legs will not lose circulation and be comfortable. I am doing this so she has something familar during the transition. I think people look ridiculous when I have seen these, but I am trying to do what is best for her. Trust me, if I had given birth to her she would NOT have experienced this carrier, but this is what her foster mom says soothes her. So here we go I guess.
I have been reading some blog friends blogs and the coming home stories are heartbreaking, but very real. I am glad that they are posting and telling of the reality of it. Elizabeth and Kelly are both recently home and have had their fair share of trouble. Thank you girls for not making it sound like butterflies and daisies because it clearly isn't. However, Elizabeth is starting to see a glimpse of a brighter side. These are the two blogs that I have been checking in daily to read. They are a.e.i.o and jon & kelly + one. You guys are doing a GREAT job, and I am so thankful for your blogs.
So, back to my purchase....most of the AP's use some form of carrier, but when I saw that this is the one that the Korean's use I decided on it. It is not the most attractive piece, but we will use it. I asked John which one he liked and he said he didn't care. I picked one out and he said, "that one will show dirt." I said, "well we should get one that is gender neutral since we will both carry it." He said, "seriously, get the one you want. If I am carrying a cute little girl in it I don't care what it looks like." So, here is the one we settled on.


Do you think Oscar will let us practice carrying him in it? :)

Olivia's Dol

We got up at 6:30 or 7 and headed out to work in the yard to prepare for the party tonight. My parents arrived around 9 to help, my sister-in-law came and tied ribbons on the paper lanterns (inside) and then Ashley stopped by around 12 and washed fruit. My mother-in-law came by at 2 and began helping mom in the kitchen. (I think I got kicked out of my own kitchen 5 times before the day was over) Around 3:00 I began to feel like the clock was SPINNING. I couldn't get it all done, and I was still running around in my swimsuit working in the yard. (How many times did I tell people, "this is NOT a swim party.") It was so hot here that when I would work and when I started dripping in sweat I would jump in the pool and then get right back out just to be cool for a while. It got really cloudy around 2 which delayed taking stuff out. Also, because of the heat we couldn't take out the centerpieces or dol towers because of the candy would melt. So, it was the last 2 hours where I really hurried.

Around 3:30 the doorbell rang for the first time. It was our cake! It was absolutely GORGEOUS and DELICIOUS!!!! Seriously, if you need a cake for anything, call Lori Lafayette! She is awesome.



Lori is on the left and Audra is on the right. Lori makes the cakes!!! WOW!!!

Shortly after, Amanda's mom arrived with all the fruit. It was also beautiful! She did such a good job and it was also delicious.

So, now it is 4:30 and I am taking stuff out to the Dol table and fixing centerpieces. (yes, still in my swimsuit) Next, our singer arrived. He did a wonderful job and was a hit! He was suppose to be here from 6-9, and I think that is what I was looking forward to the most. I was going to sit down next to the pool, listen to the waterfall and music for an hour. Can you believe it got really windy and started lightening so he had to clean up his equipment and be done. It never rained a drop! In all that rush, we all started grabbing stuff and getting it inside. Pretty sure my guests would think I was a horrible host. Really are you suppose to WORK when you go to a party??? I promise, next year will be more relaxed friends and family! You will NOT work! (disregard that sentence mom) This party was all done to honor ALL the traditions of a Korean child's first birthday. Yes, it is very involved and I couldn't do it all alone. Well, enough about me....here are some pics of the Dol. (I know, where are the people??? I stink with the camera. Once people got there, I put the camera down. I missed a lot of good shots of friends, family, and CUTE kiddos!)


See why I needed help cooking! I have a big refridgerator and we couldn't fit another thing in it.



The candy buffet (before it was complete)--I forgot to take one once I got it ready for the party)



Dol table with the cake on it.



Dol table without the cake on it.



The Doljabi table. What did she choose at her Dol in Korea????



Flowers and stuffed animal that Uncle Hugh and Aunt Judy sent. I wish they could have been here!



The cake!



Food table (chicken kabobs, bulgogi, fruit, all kinds of tea, bread, hot dogs, and rice)



Center pieces



Tables



Looking from the deck (food wasn't out, lanterns weren't quite all hung, no singer and waterfall not turned on) wish I got one of the full effect.



Me, Cassie, Ashley, and Amy (holding Khloe)



Family




Sweet girls!


dad, buddy and Mickey at the grill working on kabobs



Uncle Don, Mickey, and Jeremy

Once everyone went home, I had to get my house back to normal. I couldn't stand it any longer. Around 11:45 John took Oscar out and came in calling for me. It appears our local raccoon friend (we have named him Ricky) came and went through our trash. John saw him running off with pineapple. I came out and we picked all of the trash up (Yuck!) and then remembered we didn't get the mail. I walked to the box and found a document from USCIS. I knew what it was. We got Olivia's I600!!!! I looked at the clock and it was 12:07, so we received it on her actual birthday! How cool is that????

We came in and I began to get ready for bed. Before I could turn around, both boys were snoring. Oscar was belly up before he heard the flash of the camera pop up. We were all exhausted, but had a GREAT day.



Thanks to all of our friends and family for making her Dol special. We are so glad you joined us!!!!

Happy Birthday Olivia!!! I can't wait to spend many more with you!!!

Happy Birthday Olivia

Dear Olivia,

Today you turn one year old. Though you are half way around the world, and I have never held you in my arms, my heart knows that you are my daughter. I love you so much. I am missing you on this day, but I know that you are in good care. I know that you had your Dol in Korea and I am happy that you could celebrate your first birthday in your home country. I have wondered what item you chose at from the doljabi? I tried to honor you in every way possible for your party here. When everyone sang happy birthday I started to dart for the house so no one would see me cry or hurt, but the truth is that it hurt. I want to hold you in my arms so badly. Each day is another day away from you and you are growing and changing quickly. It is another day that we are not being able to bond.
For some reason, all that is going to change for you has really been on my heart when I think about you turning one. I am not going to lie to you. The transition from Korea with your foster mom, to the USA with us will be hard for all of us. You are going to grieve. You are leaving everything you have ever known, smelled, heard, felt, etc. I feel like the bad guy coming in to take you away, but know that we love you so much. Please also know that your birth mother loved you too. On this day one year ago she gave birth to you. She did the most selfless thing because she loved you so much. She gave you up to give you a better life than she could give you. She is and will always be a part of you. Please know that we can talk about her and you can ask questions. I don't have all the answers, but will try to help you find them if you feel that need.
We are going to have so much fun through life. I don't want to miss anymore than I have to. I can't wait for next summer when you turn 2! I already have the plan for your party! I think about you every minute of the day. (that is absolutely NOT an exaggeration)
Olivia Rae, we love you so much! We can't wait for our phone to ring and hear that you are ready for us to come get you. I would have been there in a heart beat to spend your first birthday with you if it were allowed.

Love,

Mom

Getting ready for Olivia's Dol

My goal for the summer was to stay busy. Well, I have definately succeeded. We had the shop and swap, then the garage sale, and now we are having a clebration for Olivia's 1st birthday. The Koreans believe this is the most important day in the life of a Korean, so we have chosen to honor her and celebrate that day. I have tried to do all of the Korean traditions that are typically done at a Dol, and I hope that I have done it justice. The only thing that could possibly make this day better would be if she were home. (obviously) I am glad that I worked ahead since I came down with a stomach virus yesterday. I feel much better, but my stomach is still hurting today and I don't have energy. Yuck!
Her actual birthday is June 27th, but I have planned her celebration for the 26th since the 27th is on a Sunday this year. While we are here celebrating on the 26th, she is in Korea celebrating on the 27th (same day due to time difference). How cool is that? Some of you may think it is silly to go all out and do this celebration since she is not home, but I want her to know that she was so special that 2 different countries and families were celebrating her. I want her to know that we couldn't wait to get her home and I also want her to have photos of her first birthday to look back at when she is older. Doesn't your mom have pictures of your first birthday? I also think this has been a great way to learn some Korean traditions and embrace the country more.

These parties can often become CRAZY expensive. We set a budget and we have stayed close to that budget. The Koreans spend what we would for a nice large wedding. We didn't go that far! :) We have done quite a bit and we are excited about Saturday. Our families and closest friends who have been right beside us through the ENTIRE journey will join us.

Here are some pictures to show the preparation process. (It is a good thing that she doesn't have furniture in her room since it is covered with birthday stuff!)



(this is a mild mess compared to what it is now)



I used these candies to make two of the 5 Dol towers. It is a a Korean tradition that signifies hope for the child to have a long and healthy life. They are all made out of food. (I originally bypassed that tradition, but then decided that I should do it. Thanks Ashley for spending 1 1/2 hours on putting one of the towers together. :( It looked good and I had fun spending the day with you!



I decided to do a 'candy buffett' for the favors. I thought, 'oh this will be cute and inexpensive.' DON'T EVER DO THIS!!!! Candy is EXPENSIVE! Once I had invested, I had to finish it. Somehow a lollipop theme emerged from this.



Asians seem to use these paper lanterns a lot. I really liked them. I found them on a website for 1.50 each! Can't beat that! This past Sunday I decided I would get them all put together so it would be one less thing to do. Hmm....I didn't really think about the space they would take up for a week. Oops! :)



Oscar seemed to really want attention. So, when we were at Wal-Mart one night recently, we got him this toy pig. He LOVES it! When I get home with groceries I set them down in the hallway and unload them. Usually he sits in the den patiently holding a toy in his mouth waiting to play. Not this time. He came running in, went through each bag and pulled out his toy. He squeeked it the entire first night he had it. He will take toys into Olivia's room and just lay there. He never even knew this room exsisted.