Wednesday, October 27, 2010

16 months

Today Olivia turns 16 months old. So, my thoughts are, what is she doing new? Is she officially walking or is she just toddling? Maybe she is still a crawler?

What words does she know? How many words? Is she a cuddler or is she fiesty? I know these are all mile markers I will probably not ever know, but I will always wonder.

I am hoping for an update soon. The last time we heard something was July 27. She had two teeth on the bottom she was taking one nap a day and sleeping from 9pm-5pm. She was beginning to eat some solids such as rice, porridge, yogurt, fruit and cheese. She was waving bye bye, standing alone for a few seconds, enjoying books, saying mom and dad, and a few other developmental things. much more has she progressed? She is changing so quickly. I look at all the 'firsts' there and have to really work hard to remind myself how blessed I am rather than being sad that I missed the 'firsts'. It is so hard. I know we will get an update or something when God realizes we need it the most. That seems to be how it has happended the last two updates that we received. It was like my body felt as if it couldn't go another day without some kind of word on Olivia. I opened my email and had pictures.

However, I take the 'no news is good news' approach also. They typically only contact us if there is a medical problem. So, I only want them to call to tell us to come get her or give us good news! I want her to stay healthy! I want her to develop and grow (as hard as it is that I am missing it). We are only able to request two updates during our 11 month waiting (since referral) period. I have already requested one so I want to wait until January to request the other one. However, pictures aren't really a 'medical update' anyday now I would love to get some pictures!!!

Happy 16 mos. Olivia!!!! We WILL see you soon.

Mommy, Daddy and Oscar

Monday, October 25, 2010

The best question over the past 7 mos.

Today marks 7 months of waiting since the referral of our daughter. Someone made the comment today, "well that's not too bad." Really??? Have you done it?? It is almost a daily question for someone to ask, "what's the latest?" or "any new news?" Unfortunately, no updates, no news, and still 4 months away. However, I am still praying believing that we will get a call to come get her.

So, what is the best question you ask? Today, a friend at work asked me after learning today was the "monthly marker for waiting," "Laura, what is God teaching you in all this?"

Wow, that is a huge question! What a wonderful question. So all day, I wanted to come home to write about it since I always mark the months as they pass.
Well, God has taught me quite a bit. Here are some things that immediately come to mind:

I have learned in this very long journey who I can count on. Who will be there no matter what.

I have learned that I need to be spiritually fed daily and Bible studies are a great way for me to learn His word.

I have learned that God doesn't promise an easy journey. He gives us obstacles to draw us closer to Him.

If I had not been on this journey, I would have gone on with my mediocre relationship with God. I find myself wanting to know Him more and draw closer to Him.

I have learned PATIENCE. Can we please be done with this lesson???? :)

I have learned that each day is a new day. Enjoy the day. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, TODAY.

I have learned how to be a better wife. John and I have grown as a couple over the last three years. Fortunately for us, we have drawn closer to each other.

I have learned that even though my daughter is on the other side of the world, she is MY child. I love her and will go to great lengths to defend and advocate for her.

I have learned that it is all in His timing. No, I don't want to wait until February, but if that is His plan then I will wait.

I have been given a great peace about all of this. I thought it was a numbness, but I think it must be a peace. The months are going by and I am still making it. She is ok. She is healthy. When God is ready for us to be a family, we will receive that phone call. I may never know why we are being tested with this wait for our child, but I know there must be a good reason.

I have learned that being positive about this makes it a lot easier than if I make myself miserable daily over the wait. Yes, I have my moments...some days more than others. I make a concious decision daily to get through the day as happy as possible. I pray frequently for her. I also pray for us to be joined as a family as soon as possible. Really, me kicking, screaming, crying, yelling, etc. isn't going to do anyone any good. Why do it????

This will all His time.

7 months down, 4 to go!! The light at the end of this tunnel is getting brighter! :)