Monday, September 27, 2010

15 months old and the start of the 3rd season of waiting

Today Olivia is 15 months old. She is no longer a baby in my eyes. She is heading into being a toddler. She is growing and changing daily. I am holding onto praying believing and hope that we get that phone call by November to come get our girl. I wish she knew what was waiting for her. I wish she knew how much people on the other side of the world love her and long for her. I hope she is happy and developing well. I can't wait to get my arms around her!
We got her referral in early spring (5 days into spring) and were very hopeful that she would arrive in the states in summer. We had a wonderful summer and have now moved into fall. Today was the first 'fall like' day and it made me more hopeful for her to be home. The change of weather means we are getting closer. It is so exciting to see the holiday season coming. It is coming quickly!

So, tonight in honor of waiting through two full seasons, I am going to post some of our spring and summer fun so Olivia will know what we do at home on normal days. Still waiting.....still praying! She is coming home!!!

Annelyn will love to have an Easter egg hunt partner other that Oscar!

Cousin Amber graduated from High School!

We watched the World Cup! GO KOREA! (yes, that is Oscar wearing Olivia's shirt.)

We LOVED every Thursday swim day!

We went to the Chihuly glass exhibit at Cheekwood.

We celebrated Johns' granddaddy's 103rd birthday! (doesn't this picture remind you of the little man on the movie 'UP!')

We got to pick beautiful flowers at Mr. Dean and Mrs. JoAnn's farm! It was hot, but a lot of fun!!!

Two great things about this post....
1. We (hopefully) will never go through a spring, summer or fall without Olivia being home with us.
2. Each day and every thing we did, we thought about Olivia and how things will be once she is home. Every swim Thursday we talked about how fun next summer will be!!!
The comment every single day is "can you see Olivia here doing ____." It doesn't matter what we are doing, we invision her doing it with us.
Yes, I can see her!!! I can't wait!!!!!!

Olivia, we can't wait to have you home! We love you!!!!!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

My first baby shower

This was a day that I have dreamed about for a long time. Not just a baby shower, but MY baby shower! I always dreamed of having a baby, and this was something that I have always looked forward to. The only thing missing was the big belly! I must admit, I felt funny opening presents and not being pregnant, but that is the way it is. We got some great stuff for Olivia!!! Two of my best friends and my sister threw the shower for me. It was PERFECT! However, after being the 'mommy for the day' made me realize that I was not the best hostess when we had Traci's shower a month ago. Traci, pregnant with twins, would not let me do anything! She was the photographer today, took my plate, saw to it that everything was done. Hmmm.....I don't think I did such a great job for her, but I really tried and hadn't worried about it until today. Wow Traci, you out did yourself!!!! Ashley made the adorable banner, (I really think we should go into business with this stuff. When we make them together they go pretty fast!) :) and my sister took care of the delicious, beautiful cake!!!! Not to leave out an unnamed hostess. Nancy, you went above and beyond! The food was delicious! You worked in the kitchen the entire time washing and cleaning. I appreciate you coming up two days in a row to help with the preparation for the shower!!! Moms are the best!
Thank you all for making this day everything I have dreamed of since I was a little girl. I love you all!!!!

To top it all off, it is all unboxed and put away nicely in its place!! Those that know me are not surprised by this I am sure. Now...for the thank you notes! :)

The banner and some of the gifts!

The beautiful food table and awesome cake!

I love these girls!!!! Thanks for walking every step of this journey with me! Amy, we missed you today!!!!

Love this diaper bag! Thanks, Cassie!

MMMMM....Annelyn loves to eat cake!

Lots of helpers with opening presents!! So fun!

Landon and Khloe getting to play with toys once everyone was gone!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Please be praying.....

**Remember, this is my 'journal' of sorts.....I am honest and putting my feelings out there so I don't drive every friendship or family member away by talking about all of this with every breath I take. I put it here so people don't see me coming and walk the other way. This is where I can explode or just be me for a minute. I realize everyone has issues of their own and they don't talk about it all the time and it isn't fair for me to do so.**

From what we understand, September is the month when Korea is getting to the March referrals. Our referral was March 25th. They have set the cut off based on when paperwork got to Korea. That cut off was apparently April 1st. Our paperwork got to Korea on the 13th. However, I am praying that the government decides to let all the March referrals out. I am hopeful that we can slide by and get Olivia home in 2010.

If you ask me, in my heart of hearts I am trying to believe this. I feel doubtful a little, but if I don't pray believing, then what is the point of praying?

So, if you happen to think of us, please pray that we slide through in the next couple of months. I woke up every hour last night and each time I woke up I found myself praying. I prayed for God to soften the hearts of the officials in Korea. I prayed for Olivia's health. I prayed that we can continue to get through these LONG days knowing that our child is growing and changing daily. I just prayed.

It isn't like she is at daycare and we miss the first step or the first roll over. It isn't a weekend sleepover away at grandma's house. It isn't two or three late nights at work and getting home after she had gone to bed. If that is all I missed I would be so thankful. As of today, we have missed 443 days of her life. We are missing bonding time, smiles, hugs, kisses. We also realize that when she gets home that this will not all happen like magic. She will be scared to death of us and all of the newness. Seriously, we will have an adjustment, but nothing like she will. Imagine leaving your family, country, language, smells, food, bed, EVERYTHING. At least we will come home to something familiar. I know she will get use to us and be happy, but my heart breaks for her to know how sad she will be. It is exhausting to hear people say, "oh, she is little, she will adapt quickly and forget." Really???? Um....NO. It is not an easy process for these babies to come home. It is heartbreaking. The people that make these comments really have NO CLUE. Her life and the way we raise her will be totally different then a "biological" child. Yes, she is our child, but she has a past whereas most of my friends and family have children at birth and have a blank slate, so to speak. We will honor her past and we will love her for everything she is.

Well, I seem to have gotten a bit side tracked. I am very passionate about this, and the majority of people just don't get it. We are blessed to be getting Olivia and we can't wait to have her home! We will do all we can to help her get through her grieving process. Just remember, what if it were YOU that lost EVERYTHING????? How would YOU react???? I would be hysterical! I can't imagine.

So, please pray that we are united as a family sooner rather than later. I feel it is in the best interest for her in the grieving process. Please pray that the 'decision makers' realize this too and send these babies home!

God, please!! I am praying believing, let us go get her and bring her home!!!!! We will wait for the call. I know You have a plan for all of us. I will continue to try to get through each day with a smile. (yes, fake a lot of times) This is by far the hardest test He has given me. I know it isn't more than I can handle. I know I am not the first or last person to be tested like this.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

1st day of class...

Korean Class that is! Holy Cow!!! I don't know how anyone as an adult learns a new language! It was very cool! The first part of the morning was learning the language. Hmmm.....we may need cliff notes! It is suppose to seem simple, but I can't figure it out. We learned car, green onion, and mountain. Four words I am sure we will use all the time! :) HA! I think those words were chosen to show us how to write simple words. We were given a chart to follow, but I don't even get that. I think I will need to study. Now mind you, we are not going to learn much Korean, because I believe that she will learn the language faster if we speak mostly English to her, but I also know that she will be terrified and we need to know key terms. Now, if I can only learn to write it!!! That may be a whole other story.

The second hour was cooking. For two people who DON'T DO FISH, we may have a problem. I felt my stomach turn as they showed us the little dead fish in the bowl that they use for flavoring. However, we ate the 'staple' food, rice. :) The friends that ate the soup said it was absolutely delicious! We ate the other soup that was made. It was tofu, potatoes, onions, and broth. Much more my speed!

We enjoyed the fellowship time with our Korean AP friends. It is so nice to know Olivia already has some built in friends that will look like her. I think it is important for her to have that. I also think that learning her culture is important as well as teaching it to her. So, this will continue for us. My hope is to have her in the classes next year. (if not going to class then at least being there in that environment) Everyone there is so nice! I can't wait for our next meeting!

**we would have had pics to post of it, but we left the camera in the car. John mentioned taking it in, but I said, nah...just leave it. Who knew I would want to post about this??? Yea, yea John, you did! I am so glad that you know me so well! Maybe one day I will listen. :) **