Behind....

So, let me set the scene of Christmas' before this year. Anyone could pretty much walk in my house at any given time (without warning) and it was nice and neat. Maybe a blanket on the couch was unfolded. The laundry was clean and put away, the dishes were in the dishwasher or put away, decorations (didn't matter the month) were done at the first of every month. Christmas presents were usually bought and wrapped before Halloween. Everything has a place and it was all where it needed to be.

Christmas 'then'

Now....enter Christmas 2011 at our house....
(sorry....I don't really even have a picture of now--maybe I will take one soon. Just add lots of toys surrounding the decorations)

These are the same deer that are at the base of the mantle in the other picture. Notice, no glass vase with pretty green sticks there? Olivia broke that lovely vase back in the summer. She now walks past the empty place and says shaking her hand, "don't touch." I gotta admit, its pretty cute to see her do that. It was just a vase.


I took the day off from work because mom had some more eye surgery and was unable to keep Olivia. John took yesterday off with her, so today was my day. This morning, I found myself in Wal-Mart at 6:30 getting some thread. I thought I could get some sewing done before my "helper" woke up. As I walked through my house all I see is mess. We have toys out in the den, stuff all over my counters (papers/junk), fabric, shirts galore upstairs, laundry (clean and dirty), etc. A MESS I tell ya. I got a little flustered since, if you know me, mess is not in me when it comes to my house and things. I am OCD in that everything has a place and it must be in the right spot. Enter Olivia! She is very good to clean up, but can make a mess just as quickly as your children can, I am sure. SO, I found myself trying to straighten up and pick up before she woke up rather than sewing. We have yet to put up our tree upstairs and um, presents, well, maybe people will get them before New Year's! :)
So, as I look at my decorations through coloring books, toys and more toys, I am so thankful that I GET to have these toys and things that say Olivia is here and well. Last year we dreamed of spending Christmas with Olivia here, and now we get to. So the tree isn't up and decorated and presents aren't bought yet, BUT we are having fun and enjoying each other. It will get done, right?

I found this poem on another blog and couldn't help but think this is how I was feeling this morning--a bit like the Grinch.

Read to the rhythm of "Twas the Night Before Christmas".

Twas the first of December I was already “done.”
My fudge was not working, this was no longer fun.
I had barely just started this advent of peace,
It was all I could do to hold back a scream.
The stockings were not hung by the chimney with care!
And remnants of cookie sprinkles are still everywhere.
How many people do I have to buy for?!
Why can’t they all want something from the same store?!
I did not nestle my children in their beds...
In fact, I wrestled them with a head-lock instead.
When out of the kitchen there arose such a clatter-
I arose from my bed screaming, “What in the world is the matter?”
“No, you may not have a drink of water before bed!
For in the night you will pee, and I will (again and again and again) have to wash your bedspread!”
I pulled out Martha Stewart and Southern Living too,
I thought to myself, “Our neighbors, I will out-do!”
Then came the Grinch slithering slyly into the room,
I didn’t even notice the impending doom.
Slowly, but surely, one thing at a time-
He stuffed up the chimney all the peace that was mine.
Amid all the boxes and garland and holly,
I found myself displaying nothing but folly.
“That ornament! It’s an heirloom!”
I said with a cry.
“Baby Jesus doesn’t go there!” with an impatient sigh.
About to pull my hair out,
I sat down with a plop.
With a thought to myself, “They're causing my efforts to flop!”
As I looked around in utter dismay...
My eyes fell on baby Jesus asleep on the hay.
The Lord brought to my mind
That lowly stable scene,
Where not an ornament was hung
And blinking light did not gleam.
Where there was not a single gift wrapped with glittery bow,
But instead the Light of the World, wrapped in swaddling clothes.
All of a sudden Martha Stewart's tree wasn't so nice,
As all of the ornaments clumped just three feet high.
I remember the giggles that got them all there,
and giggled as Mary and Rudolph rode into the Snow Village Square.
I tossed the December issue of Southern Living out the door,
And leaned back on my Christmas pillow that was (once again) thrown on the floor.
With my new-found perspective, I rolled onto my face-
Confessing my sin and receiving His grace.
I went to the rooms of all my precious, sleeping babes,
With tears in my eyes,
Kissed each one on the face.
Christmas is not what I had been portraying it to be.
It’s not about tinsel or trinkets or a tree...
If I get it all done, that will be fine, but regardless
A peaceful December is mine.